The plight of the Black Woman in America

Growing up in the 80's, I remember turning on the television or opening up a magazine and wondering why none of the commercials/ads contained women who looked like me (by "me" I mean a black girl). The were hardly any women with coarse hair or with a skin complexion darker than a paper bag. And if there were, their hair was bone straight, and their features very Euro-centric.

At the same time, I would get upset when my Mom wouldn't buy me a baby doll or a Barbie that wasn't Black. She even went as far as making me return dolls of other skin textures and tones to the store if I received them as gifts. I simply wanted the same dolls that my friends Nikki, Sarah and Lacey played with. I wanted the dolls that resembled the dolls I'd seen advertised on t.v. or in the magazines. I didn't want the "Black" doll. No one was standing in lines around the block at Christmas time to buy the "Black" dolls.

In elementary school I would come to learn that the boys my friends adored (blonde/brown hair with blue eyes) weren't standing in line to "go out with" me (brown skin, fuller lips, and course hair). In adulthood I would come to the harsh reality that not many of the men who looked like me were standing in line to date/marry Black women either. So where did that leave me?

A 2014 OKCupid study found that Black women were seen as the least attractive women among straight users on online dating apps. LEAST ATTRACTIVE? Who was surveyed? Is this REALLY how American men view Black women in America?

WHAT...THE...WHAT? If this is how America views an entire class of people, how do these women then view themselves?

A 2018 Pacific Standard article states that "recent studies report that, at least under certain circumstances, black women are more likely than whites to be both sexually objectified and perceived as less than fully human. These unconscious biases on the part of whites can, of course, guide their beliefs and behaviors."

Being raised by a Black woman who consistently drilled pride into my soul, I stand tall as a 41 year-old Black woman who is proud of her skin, proud of her non-straightened natural hair, and even more proud of the two young women she is raising in the same vain. HOWEVER, not every Black woman in America has the same foundation. And those that do, don't always believe what they are told. Especially when the world tells them differently each and every day.

The percentage of Black men in America who are seeking to date and/or marry Black women is on a steady decrease. I have heard Black women say, "If you find a good Black man who isn't gay, is attracted to Black women, and treats you good, don't ever let him go. They are rarities this day in age."

While the world continues to scream that Black women are unattractive or undesirable this doesn't make it fact. And I am hear to begin changing the narrative:

Black women are one of thee most beautiful species of women on this earth. They are smart, resilient, loving, giving, and nurturing. They range in skin tone, texture, background, height, weight, etc. They are change makers, leaders and lovers. They are a proud woman who has endured throughout the history of the first Black brought to this country. They are role models and teachers.

I am in no way trying to convince you that Black women are beautiful, because facts are facts. But I will ask you to take off your "learned" lenses and begin to see the Black woman for who she really is. And then share your new lenses with those around you so that they, too, can view the Black woman in America for the Queen she is.

#Blackwomen #BlackwomaninAmerica